So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
