i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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