Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize