just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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