You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
