if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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