you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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