My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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