"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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