so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
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I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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