You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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