Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
