his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is wine microwaveable?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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