i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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