Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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