She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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