I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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