Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Randomize
