Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
