took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She bit a glass in half.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
