Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
