College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
