Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I queefed so loud it echoed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
