We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
