Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
