I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
