the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
