So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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