Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
