she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
