I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
