Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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