So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
