next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
