Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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