Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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