Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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