she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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