Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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