Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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