ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
