I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
