O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
