I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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