I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
