She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
