I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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