sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
