the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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