Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just invented taco cereal.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
