I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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