I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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