Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
and eventually we just all took our pants off
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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