dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
