Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
