he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Are my feet made of real feet?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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