Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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