I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
