im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
