she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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